Wonderful parents, gratefulness…

I am grateful for my parents.

They were very strict with me, they taught me that nothing come easy. I was taught to work hard to get something. I was taught that the personal satisfaction that you did the best , was the best reward.

Work hard for yourself first. I was taught that allowance does not exist without work. I was also taught that daily, weekly and monthly chores were not paid for, they were expected, as a member of the family. I was taught to value quality time over things, over money. I was taught to be the best I can be, to be kind with others and they would be kind with me.

I was taught to save money to be able to buy what I wanted, I was taught that with mistakes comes consequences. My parents are pretty wealthy, yet I never had anything handed to me on a platter.

When I went through separation, my parents offered to help monetary. My response:  “No way. Let me take another job, let me babysit when I don’t have the kids, let me work harder”  My parent’s answer to that, ” We knew you were going to say that, we did not expect any better!”

I am working so hard, but I am making it. I am proud of it, because it comes from my sweat, my hard work. And if  I continue on this path at school, I will maybe qualify for that scholarship for a MFA that I am aiming for…

I have dreams. One of my friend shared this morning on Facebook an article that had this phrase: “You are better at not quitting than anything that has ever lived on this planet. Just remember that” Exactly what I needed to hear!

Well, these photos are the photos of 2 people who have help me to dream growing up, and to dream big. And in this photos are my kids, the people who I dream for, and that inspire me to give the best example I can be.  They are why I do everything I do. I want to walk the walk, not talk the talk. I want to be leading by example what a woman should stand for and what she should not. I want to be an example of what a parent should be.

I guess this first time meditating early this morning was not so bad after all.

My parents and my kids playing petanque, ou jouer aux boules and spending time having fun together.

 

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Documentary: Going through separation after 16 years…

I have been working on this documentary for couple of months now. How was I going to do this, how will I execute it? How can it be successful?

It has been a difficult project to work on it, and it is difficult to share it.

However it has help me to grieve , it is a loss of such a big chapter, a loss of a big part of my life.

This is very difficult to share as I do not want people to think this is use as a display of my life.

This is my art, and a project I did for many reasons. The most important is that this is for me and it has been very therapeutic, and it is a good way for me to wrap this up and turn the page.

This is the first part of the documentary. The second will the house that it will be after I re-arrange, and move things around.

“Exceptionally” is the title of our chapter.

It has been hard to write and post projects lately on the blog. This is where I write my emotions, and post my photos that reflect my emotions. This has been my space.

I have been pretty absent on the blog as my life has been a bit chaotic the past few months, and I did not want to share with the public my feelings. I believe in sharing my work especially as an artist, but also as an artist those feelings are very intimate.

I do not have the gift of writing in English, I do not have the words, the vocabulary, the poetic way to say things. I actually usually get in trouble because of my honesty.

My husband and I will no longer be a married team, it is as simple and complicated than that.

I ask, that if you know me, you give me privacy, I ask that you give me time . Let me do what I do best witch is pour my soul in my photos , into my work and pour my soul in my kids.

I will share with you this beautiful letter that my husband wrote and posted last night to Facebook for our friends. It is beautiful, he was always great with words.

This letter  will hopefully help our friends to know they do not have to choose a side, they can still be there for us, or us for them.

I look forward to the road ahead and where it will lead.

July_2012_France_3_jours_Bretagne_Normandy_0071

Here is John’s letter:

Katia an I are coming to you all with mixed emotions: heavy, excited, sad, but mostly hopeful emotions. We are embarking on a mutual journey, writing a new chapter of our individual lives. And, as with any new chapter, another must finish. This is where you all must transition with us, for you have been some of our greatest assets throughout our story. We are not asking you to make any decisions, adjust any of your lives, rather, we ask that you understand and embrace this news as we find our way along this new path. “Exceptionally” is the title of our chapter, and the overall theme is our separation from the relationship we have shared for 18 years as a couple.
While I could drone on, explaining the accomplishments and failures of our marriage, the largest and most important decision has been made. We know this is the best decision for us now. There is no animosity between Katia and me. There remains a strong and everlasting friendship that will survive long after this transition. Our children are our greatest joys and we protect them with every last ounce of emotional, spiritual and physical energy we have. Yet, they do not have to decide whom they love more or who loves them more. At the same time, we do not want any of you to feel that you must choose one of us over another.
We have not changed at our core. As difficult a time it is, we remain unified in our decision and will create a loving, nurturing and life-centered passionate home wherever we are for our children, our friends and our own well being. There has never been a stronger emphasis on stability for our relationships than now. Again, this is where you, our friends, are invited: the comfort of knowing that there was no malice, there is no danger, and there will not be any attempt to divide our friendship.
Help us to relax in your presence, for that will be the greatest reward of our relationship with you. We are looking to the future and have made peace with the past. We have our own fond memories which compel us to create more. We also have instances that are less desirable in our memories and, while some propel us into this new chapter of our lives, we desire those times remain private, quiet in our hearts and brought to the moment when we feel it is appropriate. Please, suppress the questions you may ask us about our decision. Withhold the innate desire to find answers. Just know that we are doing this mutually, collaboratively, peacefully, and mostly, “exceptionally.”
You may see us together in public. We will be together in public. You may see us laugh together, break bread together, embrace and even dance together. We will do these things and more. Our true desire, folded neatly in this note to you, is that you all will accept us, your friends, in our new roles on our new journeys. Perhaps a better analogy than a new chapter of our lives would be a new book, a sequel, a Part Two, containing the same characters encountering new challenges with dynamically different roles. Katia and I now start our own Odysseys. We look forward to the journey with you.
Thank you for being there for us in the past as well as the future.

John and Katia